Rejection will happen in your dating life, so you better be prepared! These ten reminders will help you stay grounded and positive when rejection happens, and I hope by listening to this, you’ll be able to shake it off faster. Which reminder did you need to hear the most? DM me on IG and let me know! @dating.intentionally.
I think rejection is an important experience in life. If you’ve been listening for a while, you know I’m more of a tough-love kind of person, like what doesn’t kill you makes you stronger. The more you face rejection, the easier it gets, and that’s the case for all parts of life, not just dating. Of course, we do have to learn from rejection, and it’s possible that if you’re getting rejected over and over again, then yes, something you’re doing might need to change. That’s another positive thing about someone else ending a situation; we can learn from it.
My experience
I’ve been rejected a fair amount in dating, definitely a lot more in my early 20s when I was dating more recklessly, not intentionally, and I spent more time chasing people who weren’t interested in me.
But in part two of my dating journey, in my late 20s and early 30s, I got rejected a handful of times as well. In my most recent experience, a guy told me after about 7 or 8 dates that I wasn’t outdoorsy enough for him and that it wouldn’t work. This was wild to me because we had been out so many times. But I think that was a nice way of letting me down. It didn’t hurt too bad because I was still talking to other people. It was surprising, though, because he seemed very into me.
And then I got rejected after a second date – a guy told me he wasn’t feeling it. This didn’t surprise me as much since he was new to the apps, and I’m sure he wanted to keep exploring, which was fair.
What helped me most
Knowing I had other options helped me move forward as if I were still talking to other people on the apps. Rejection can come in many forms. This episode is more focused on rejection in early dating.
My hope with this episode is that you can reframe rejection if your fear of it is holding you back or if you’ve been facing much rejection. And if that is the case for you, I want to let you know right now that you are dateable and brave enough to put yourself out there. It might not feel like it right now, but everything you’re doing will lead to something one way or another.
10 reminders for handling rejection:
- Rejection isn’t that deep!
- When you get rejected, it’s more about their preferences, not you.
- Rejection is just a part of dating.
- The stories we build around getting rejected hurt us more than the rejection itself.
- In your dating journey, you’re going to reject people too.
- Each rejection will get you closer to your person.
- Have compassion for yourself.
- Trying to avoid rejection will lead you to not act authentically.
- Rejection can make you more resilient.
- And it’s just something to accept.
I go into each of these more in-depth on the podcast.
Here’s my episode on dealing with ghosting. And here are my anti-ghost text scripts! I have a previous episode on rejection as well.